Who am I ???!!

As a 3 yr old kid when people asked me "so darling what do you wanna be when u grow up?" I used to look at them with an intrigued look and wonder " What should one be? arent we not already someone ,well teacher says am shivani i have a name, aint i alredy someone?" ,what else is there to be , rather than to just be?,well i guess at that time i jus fondled my dolls blonde hair and said "i want to be like barbie!" ,and the entire room would burst out laughing ,the roars would fill my ears and i would turn back to barbie and say"now what was that funny?",as i grew older and started entering the world of elders,you know the phase of growth when u start thinking "why is mom growing smaller?" I was asked the same question "so dear what do u wanna be ?" and i would look up from my note books and beam back at them thinking "well you cant laugh at me this time " and i woud promptly retort " a doctor" and my relatives would smile upon me with pride ,a dawning understanding and my aunt would murmur "i knew it ,it runs in the family" .While my dad would fervently argue that he never wants his daughter to be a doctor ,its always best to pursue engineering just like him and one of his elder brothers.Words would ring in my ears ,alphabets like IIT ,IIM seemed more common than the usaul words i was picking up at school.Dad often referred to them and i used to wonder what were these places ? some exotic place far far away which promised everythin? And then when the phase came where i said " Ma stop telling me things ..I know what to do!" ,well this point i had decided (or had i?) "well engineering it is for me ..am doing an MBA after this!" and i would diligently read papers ..huge buisness journals and ask dad doubts .I made him proud ,and still today i wonder if this is what i want?.Do humans de -evolve with time ,lifez a cycle i guess and i seem to sometimes become the same 3 yr old kid questioning the world around me . I would become a forest ranger rather but am i put up to that kind of a job?.For a person who has spent all her life in the material comforts of a concrete jungle ,will the savanahs offer peace?.I know it might all be a flop like how my barbie dream ended to be.(i never did grow up into that kinda blonde chic) .Am happy the way I am but yet restless ,and i guess one might never actually know what one wants,but with time as we grow people stop dreaming.It seems to be a task meant for kids ,no adult takes a fantasy flight ,to him/her fantasies are immature not something which a pragmatic person should do.But i believe in these wild dreams lies the real you and even if you can not live all your wild dreams atleast dont stop the mind on its flights of imagination.Dont deprive the mind of its soul.coz sometimes just being U is a tugh dream to fulfil.